Thursday 1/30
12:00pm – I did keep my resolutions last night not to do any more checking up. I’m glad I didn’t , my suspicions are active enough already. I slept in just a bit and did a light workout at home. I talked to Austin. He was in a pretty crappy mood. He said he’d call when he goes out for lunch, no call yet. Work is kind of a bust today due to IT stuff. I have an archery lesson tonight which I want to back out of, but I know I shouldn’t. If I wasn’t going to see Austin tomorrow, I think I’d be in a bad place. I feel just OK today.
3:30pm – Austin called after lunch and we had a nice chat. Why don’t I feel better? I’m so suspicious all the time. I don’t know if I can get over it, but if I can’t get over it I’ll have to leave. He’s doing everything I asked: calling a lot, the Paired app, and being affectionate. Still, none of that makes me trust him more. Maybe if we can keep focusing on our relationship, it will come with time. I don’t know.
Final – Archery was all right. It was me and a bunch of kids but it was good to get some practice. Austin was texting me but then went dark. I was panicky by the time he called. I was feeling so insecure. I slept on the couch.