Saturday 1/25 – I’m doing OK. Last night, Austin was very affectionate. He gave me a long long hug on the couch and initiated sex. He went to get the kids while I made dinner.
This morning he slept in with me and there were lots of cuddles. He did the Paired app prompts before I even got ready for the day, that was really nice. We played Zelda through the morning and it was fun. I kept my positive attitude until mid-afternoon. We all went to the gym and I felt weird about him keeping his phone on him. We went to the hobby store to get a bunch of stuff for his son’s school project. It was a frustrating experience for everyone. I’d left my phone in the car, Austin refused to use his to research. I know he doesn’t want me to have the code.
By the time we got home for dinner, I was tired and annoyed. We watched a movie and went to bed. I really struggled to sleep. I was going around and around in my head. He didn’t end things when he had promised to. I don’t believe he had zero contact with her this week, I don’t believe the origin story of how he knows her, I don’t believe he was honest when “trying” to end things before, I don’t believe she knows he’s in a committed relationship. I don’t believe anything. He realized I was awake in the middle of the night. I told him that if he had decided not to cut off contact, I had a right to know. He said he would, but he “was so busy, he hadn’t thought about it”. Even if that’s true (and it’s yet another thing I don’t believe) he claimed to understand last week how important it was to me. So he either doesn’t care, or is just lying again and again and again.
