Thursday 1/30 12:00pm – I did keep my resolutions last night not to do any more checking up. I’m glad I didn’t , my suspicions are active enough already. I slept in just a bit and did a light workout at home. I talked to Austin. He was in a pretty crappy mood. He said…
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Day +17
Wednesday 1/29/25 – I feel better when I can maintain more independence. I woke up early this AM and went to the gym. Austin texted an early good morning, then went quiet. He later texted that he couldn’t go back to sleep and was at the gym and had hit an important PR. I asked…
Time to Buckle Down
As I wrote about before, I’ve been coddling myself to get through the tough times. Now, I feel strong enough to start working toward goals and have some discipline in my life. This is how I typically get from OK to good, then good to thriving. The key elements for me have always been: nutrition,…
Day +16
Tuesday, 1/28 9:45am – Jeez, it’s only 9:45? I was up early for the gym. Talked to Austin who isn’t feeling well and didn’t sleep well. Sometimes I let his bad days make my day bad, but not today. He did do the Paired prompts which I wasn’t expecting. I got to work and knocked…
Day +15
Monday, January 27th – I felt strong today. I initiated sex this morning, then I took Austin to the airport. He felt a little disconnected, but I know he’s dreading the work travel. I was more talkative at work than I have been for a while; I feel like I’m not so stuck in my…
Day +14
Sunday 1/2610:30am – After a bad night’s sleep, Austin was cuddly in the morning. Before we left the bedroom, he gave me a hug and said “I love you”. I’m trying to turn my brain off, at least with the specifics and my fears. He had to take his son to a baseball thing. I…
Day +13
Saturday 1/25 – I’m doing OK. Last night, Austin was very affectionate. He gave me a long long hug on the couch and initiated sex. He went to get the kids while I made dinner. This morning he slept in with me and there were lots of cuddles. He did the Paired app prompts before…
Resolution: Feel in Love
I wasn’t planning on doing resolutions every weekend, but that’s how it’s shaping up. For context, Austin travels Monday-Friday of every week. I typically take him to the airport on Monday morning, and he typically gets home on Friday before I do. My anxiety and suspicion build through the week, and by Friday I’m a…
Day +12
Friday 1/24 – I woke up feeling bad. Austin was already at the airport and running late. I asked him to do the Paired prompts, but he didn’t. I was so anxious while getting ready for the day (already counting the hours until I’d be home again) that I stopped to do a 10 minute…
Day +11
Thursday 1/23 10:00 am – I’m not feeling very good. I skipped the sleeping pill last night and slept like crap. I kept waking up from stressful dreams I can’t remember. At 5:30 I gave up and went to the gym. Austin slept in. he called as I was wrapping up my workout. He said…